


i'm sorry for what i couldn't do

by BlueFairyKino



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Story Series | Digimon World Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, digimon can talk even when captured bc i say so, does a digimon dying count as major character death, does it count??? maybe, he's mentioned in the first chap tho, i got this idea in my head and it won't leave so welp, kkkkkiiiindaaa????, they all fret over keisuke bc they care him, well it does now, yu doesn't show up right away but he will later trust me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFairyKino/pseuds/BlueFairyKino
Summary: Digimon can get knocked out in battle, and can have their energy restored.Digimon can be destroyed, be torn apart at the code, and can't be revived.Keisuke learns the second part the hard way.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	i'm sorry for what i couldn't do

**Author's Note:**

> it was only a matter of time until i rubbed my canon-altering hands all over this game, rly
> 
> if i could put this at a specific point in canon its proooobably during chapter 5? and specifically like. after the digital wave quest, but before any of the other ones.
> 
> anyway enjoy pain

Even before he officially became a hacker, Keisuke couldn't tell why people seemed to treat Digimon as nothing more than programs.

The three he'd met that day were scared, but the salesman couldn't tell. Or maybe he _could_ , but was just denying it for... _whatever_ reason he could've had. When he had let Tento- _Kabe_ out, when the other two had been set free, he'd seen _relief_ in their movements and expressions.

Even before meeting Wormmon, he kinda had a feeling there was some sort of place these guys came from. That they just _existed_ , and weren't programs made by humans. That they were _living beings_ , more than just packets of data made to look like monsters out of an RPG.

Keisuke had taken the time to befriend his Digimon. _All_ of them, because they _all_ held importance. Mirei would just watched with an amused face, saying that the _other person_ , the one who'd use the Digilab whenever he didn't, did the _exact same thing_ with their Digimon.

~~(keisuke wondered if he'd ever meet them, one day. that other person, who, from mirei's words, seemed so much more _important_ than he did.)~~

A few stood out among the rest, of course. Baal, currently a Wizardmon, was a prankster, but had a good heart, even if he tried to hide it. Gorou, currently a Gaogamon, was a calm one, who would often take care of the younger Digimon, like a father did his children. Harpe, currently a ZubaEagermon, was proud, dependable, and _maybe_ a bit hammy, at times, with how they'd act like a hero from a fairy tale. And Neneko, currently a Gatomon, seemed to grant herself the title of Keisuke's big sister, and wouldn't take no for an answer.

And then there was Kabe. His Kabuterimon. His main partner. The one who accompanied him everywhere around Eden. The one who insisted on wearing that silly little scarf-like thing Keisuke had happened to find on his horn, even as the big, tough bug he was now.

The _first_ Digimon he'd _ever_ befriended.

The others were friends, but Kabe felt like _family_. The bond between them seemed so _natural_ , from the very beginning. Like them meeting, them becoming partners, wasn't just chance, but _fate_.

If he'd had the choice, he would've taken all three of those scared, doomed Digimon, on that day. But with the choice he had, something in him made him pick Kabe, and he didn't regret that decision at all.

They would talk a lot, just the two of them. About a lot of things.

About the other Digimon. About Hudie. About things unrelated to EDEN at all.

Kabe would tell him about the Digital World. About things that seemed both unbelievable and plausible, somehow. About rivers of data and powerful knights and trees twice the size of the tallest skyscrapers.

Keisuke would tell Kabe stuff, too. His stories seemed so _dull_ , in comparison to the stories his partner told him, but the other would listen intently anyway. He'd talk about the city he lived in, and the places he often went to, and silly stories about certain times he'd gone to those places.

And he'd tell tons and _tons_ of stories about Yu, because he could go _on_ and _on_ about his childhood friend for _hours_.

He made a promise with Kabe, one day. That eventually, after everything was over with, he would find some way to show him the real world. He'd show him his favorite places, and let him try real world food, and, most _important_ of all, introduce him to Yu.

And, in exchange, Kabe could show him around the Digital World, if they managed to find a way there.

Kabe couldn't _physically_ smile, but he'd sounded so _excited_ at that promise that Keisuke _knew_ he was smiling in his own little way, and it only made him that much more determined to get his account back. Not just for his _own_ sake, but now for the sake of his _partner_.

That promise was broken the day after it was made.

***

It was just another task from Mirei. Another rogue hacker on the blacklist. He felt like he could handle it himself, and even if things _did_ get rough, he had the others ready to contact for backup in an instant.

He knew where the hacker was. What sort of Digimon they had.

He didn't expect them to have their _own_ backup.

But here he was, clearly outnumbered. He'd already sent an SOS to Ryuji and Chitose, so now he just had to hold out until they arrived.

It'd be fine. His Digimon were getting worn out, but so were the enemies'. His allies were always fast to act, they'd get here soon.

It'd be _fine_.

~~so why did he feel so much _dread_ , all of a sudden?~~

It seemed to happen both in an _instant_ , and in _slow motion_ , as if time had somehow both sped up and slowed down simultaneously.

The first thing he heard was footsteps, far in the distance. It _had_ to be Ryuji and Chitose.

Then a panicked shout from one of the enemy hackers, and an even _more_ panicked shout from Gorou.

He turned, only to see a Kuwagamon, claws stretched out, speeding not towards one of his Digimon, but towards _him_.

Baal screamed at him to move.

Keisuke froze in place.

His _own mind_ was screaming at him to move, but he _couldn't_. All he could do was stand there, thoughts rushing at a mile per minute.

When the Kuwagamon got to him, what would even happen? Would it just kick him back out to reality? If _that_ happened, what would happen to his _Digimon_?

What if it was even _worse_ than that?

~~what if it kil~~

**"GAAUGHHH!!"**

He didn't remember closing his eyes, let alone shutting them so tightly.

He opened them the moment he heard that horrific, _ear-piercing_ scream.

He silently looked up.

Kabe was standing over him, his arms and wings wrapping around him like a shield.

And the Kuwagamon's claws had torn straight through his torso, leaving bright blue gashes in their wake.

The entire room went silent. The hackers around them suddenly looked confused. Ryuji, Chitose, and their Digimon, who had happened to get there at that exact moment, stared at the scene before them in shock.

Kabe ignored them all, and looked down at his partner, who was staring right back in absolute _horror_ as the gashes began to fade away into nothingness, and began to take the rest of the Digimon with them.

A shaky breath, one that almost sounded like a sigh of _relief_ , exited the large bug's mouth.

His body faded into blue particles, and without a sound, the scarf that had been tied around Kabe's horn slowly drifted to the ground.

And then he was gone.

The place was _chaos_ , after that. Baal went right after the Kuwagamon, spitting out words dripping with nothing but _rage_. Gorou stood near Keisuke, snarling at anyone who came close. Ryuji and Chitose ran forward, beginning to chase off the hackers who, after snapping out of their confusion, had already begun backing off.

Keisuke didn't acknowledge any of it.

He didn't see Cyberdramon hold back Baal when he tried to go after the fleeing Kuwagamon, didn't see the other enemy Digimon frantically follow their owners, didn't hear the sudden worried voices of Erika and Wormmon in his ears.

All he saw was the scarf on the ground.

All he could hear was that _scream_.

_A dream. This...this is a dream, right?  
_

_It has to be. It **has** to be._

_This can't be real._

_It can't_

_It can't it can't **IT CAN'T**_

"Hey."

Keisuke was snapped out of his thoughts by a sudden hand on his shoulder. He silently looked up to see Ryuji, gently cupping his shoulder, while Chitose stood nearby, a look of what seemed like _guilt_ on both of their faces.

"C'mon...let's go."

Keisuke hardly registered himself standing ~~(when did he fall to his knees?)~~ , but he _did_ come out of his dazed state a little when Gorou quietly picked up the scarf and handed it to him.

He clinged to it the entire way out.

***

"...Keisuke?"

Erika's soft, shaky voice was what he first heard when he logged out. Slowly, still in a bit of a haze, he lowered his Digivice to its normal spot around his neck.

The girl's normally calm, stoic face was twisted into something else. Shock? Confusion? Concern? He couldn't tell. The door to her room was slightly open, and he could distantly hear Wormmon's voice, frantically asking her if he was ok.

Two loud pairs of footsteps came rushing towards them, and soon, Ryuji and Chitose were there as well, looking...panicked, for some reason.

And still guilty.

The latter immediately moved over to Keisuke, with Erika slowly moving back to stand near her brother. "Shit, Keisuke, we're so sorry, we tried to get there as fast as we could, but-"

There was silence.

"...?"

Keisuke looked up.

...why were they all looking at him like that? Like there was something wrong with him?

It was a few seconds later that Keisuke became aware of the wetness on his cheeks, and a few more seconds before it completely registered that he was crying.

"...what happens?"

"Huh?"

"When-" Keisuke shuddered, the image of Kabe fading before him suddenly coming back to the front of his mind in _full force_. "When Digimon...die?"

~~it felt wrong to say it felt absolutely wrong it still didn't feel real~~

"...nobody knows." Ryuji finally spoke up, looking away with a pained gaze. "Whether they reform somewhere, or turn back into a Digiegg, or...anything else...nobody knows what happens."

.......

"...h-he's gone."

It was that final whisper that broke the dam.

In the mostly-empty internet cafe, with only three other quiet, guilt-ridden people to witness him, Keisuke curled up in his chair, buried his face in his hands, and _cried_.

He cried, the tears falling like they were never going to stop, the weight of the loss of his closest Digimon partner hitting him over and over and _over again_.

~~it still didn't feel real~~

~~he didn't want it to be~~


End file.
